


A good punch can change your perspective

by legendofthedwelf



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Inquisitor, Asexuality, Dorian means well, Face Punching, Friendship, M/M, Quiz is So Done, don't mess with boyfriend of tiny elf, don't mess with tiny elf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 01:32:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7993702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendofthedwelf/pseuds/legendofthedwelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian cannot understand why Quiz and Cullen simply don’t do it. Quiz is about done with Dorian’s comments. After a punch and a lot of teasing, Dorian finally understands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A good punch can change your perspective

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little piece self-indulgent fluff. After seeing an asexuality awareness post, I had a big fucking revelation, and I had to write this. I’m just going to assume that Dorian doesn’t know about ace!people in this story, and that he needs some time to get behind that. But everyone is happy in the end.

"Did you happen to get a glimpse at your Commander's naked glory lately, Inquisitor?"

Quiz gritted his teeth and willed himself to not clench his hand around the book he was currently holding. Being an archer gave him a lot of muscles and he really didn't want to deal with Dorian's wrath about damaging an ancient tome.

He loved Dorian. Treasured him and counted him as one of his best friends in the entirety of Thedas. And one does not simply murder his best friends out of annoyance or frustration.

"In fact, I did. We do happen to share quarters now and then, as well as a relaxing bath and also a bed."

The mage hummed in response, and Quiz swore he could hear the sarcasm on every sound. He slowly turned away from the shelf he had taken his book from and towards the balustrade, resolutely avoiding looking at Dorian in his niche.

“Well, I am relieved. I would hate to jump to hasty conclusions about the two of you.”

_He means well_ , Quiz reminded himself. _Just like Mother Giselle, he means well_.

“And we don’t want that, am I right?”

“You are absolutely right, my dear Inquisitor.”

_Just ignore him. Just for today._

“May I ask what it is you are doing in the library?”

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to specialize as a Tempest, like Sera is, and I’m searching for a book on that subject.” _Casual chit-chat, and then you’re going back to Kihm. Nice and easy._

“Hmm, I can see how some nice flasks and conjunctions can certainly spice up your life. Good choice.”

_Do NOT give in to the teasing, Bull said._

“Well, what can I say - a good punch can certainly change things.”

He could sense Dorian looking at him out of the corner of his eye, and he had to grit his teeth to stop himself from lashing out.

For a moment there was silence, and Quiz felt calm enough to be able to go past the mage without sticking an arrow in his face.

"Well, Inquisitor, I do hope that you're aware that as a man you can't get pregnant from having sex with another man, assuming your Dalish upbringing hinders you from actually performing the act-"

The muffled sound of pain that Dorian made behind a calloused fist was like music to Quiz' ears. Finally his control had snapped and quick like lightning he had turned around to punch his best friend in the face. Immediately guilt shot through him, but the anger he felt was too bright and too accumulated to pay attention to reason.

"Dammit, Dorian, there are people in the world who simply don't want to have sex, is that so difficult to accept?!"

The library had been quiet and deserted from the beginning, but now it was deadly silent. Even Leliana's ravens had stopped cawing, and the only sound that could be heard was the elf's heavy breathing. Dorian laid on the ground, staring up at his friend's murderous expression, hand lightly touching the right side of his face though not realizing the pain yet as shock and surprise still numbed his senses.

They stared at each other for a few moments longer, before Quiz abruptly turned around and stormed upstairs, past Leliana who had been soundlessly creeping downstairs to supervise what had happened. The sound of a door being violently pulled open and then slammed shut echoed throughout the tower.

Dorian mused that he must make a hilarious picture, laying half sprawled on the ground and against a book shelf with a dumbfounded expression and his hand fondling his face. The pain he hadn't registered before slowly came to the front of his mind and judging from the intensity of it he had taken a lot more damage than simply a bruise.

"Don't touch it."

Surprisingly, Solas had come up and was now squatting down next to him, the usual blank look on his face lined with disapproval as he started tending to the Tevinter. Leliana had now also approached and crouched next to them, not even trying to hide the amusement on her face.

"Oh Dorian," she sighed.

"What...actually just happened?" Dorian asked dazedly and winced as the movement of his mouth aggravated the bruise on his face.

"The Inquisitor has reached the end of his patience with your disrespectful comments," Solas drawled. At the other mage's uncomprehending look, he sighed as well and started to explain.

"Some people simply don't feel sexual desire, Dorian."

Leliana giggled as that statement clearly floored Dorian.

"Seriously?! Like, I mean, they don't feel anything at all?"

"They can get aroused, and they can orgasm, but that doesn't mean that they feel a need for it, or that they enjoy it, or that they want it."

"But...why, I mean, how...," Dorian was aware that he was babbling, but that was just complete new information to him. Something that he had never even considered turned out to be the reason why Quiz and Cullen don't do anything remotely sexual. He himself was a very sexual person, and he enjoys that immensely. To learn now that there are people who don't enjoy that or who don't feel a need for it, something that is actually ingrained into every being, sex, the need for copulation, reproduction...

The spymaster had watched silently as Dorian processed all that. "As far as I'm aware, the Inquisitor doesn't know that he is special in that regard. He simply doesn't wish for sex, and Cullen seemingly isn't that keen on it either, so they work out perfectly. Your constant nagging and teasing finally seemed to have been enough though." With that being said she eyed his face, impressed, with a gleam in her eyes that Dorian didn't like at all.

Solas finished with his healing and stood up. "You should apologize."

"I fully intend to, I'm capable of admitting my own faults and not above expressing my regrets about having offended my friend to this extend!" The Tevinter responded haughtily, trying to regain his bearings in the face of possible future ridicule.

"Aww Dorian, you're growing up," Leliana cooed at him and patted his right cheek where pain flared viciously as soon as she touched him.

"Careful with that," Solas murmured in amusement as Dorian flinched away from the touch, "I only healed the fractured bones in your face, the bruise I left as a reminder of what happened." And he strode off while the necromancer was sputtering indignantly about having the utter beauty that is his face sullied like that. Leliana giggled once again and Dorian turned, pointing an angry finger at her.

"Why did you even come down here?!"

"Gossip material," she replied with a serious face and that damn gleam still in her eyes, and before he could blink she stood up as well and went downstairs after Solas.

After a dramatic sigh that sent a twinge through his face, Dorian gathered himself and also stood to make his way upstairs and outside in search of his friend. 

**DA:I**

Dorian found the elf on top of the rookery, knees pulled to his chest with his arms wrapped around them, chin pillowed on top.

He thought about commenting, “It is so like you to clamber on top of a roof,” but he decided against it. He had hurt him already today with his flippancy. There was no need to pour oil into the fire.

So he sat down beside his friend, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap. There was an icy cold wind breezing through Skyhold today but the mage vowed to suffer through it.

“I am terribly sorry,” he began and Quiz immediately let out a sigh that spoke of way too many similar conversations, and a pang went through Dorian’s heart.

“It’s fine.”

“No it really is not!”

Perhaps it was the vehemence with which he said it, which surprised himself as well, but the elf lifted his head and turned to him with a peculiar expression on his face. Dorian in turn huffed and crossed his arms.

“You know of my past, Inquisitor, I shouldn’t make fun of your inclinations.”

A small smile tugged at the elf’s lips.

“You’ve just had explained to you what the matter is with me, right?”

“Well, yes, but- that’s not the point! You know of me, of my preferences, and you did not ridicule them, but accepted them. I owe you the same, so my behaviour was most shameful and I apologize!”

Quiz huffed a slight laugh at that and placed his chin on his arms again.

They were quiet for some time after that. At some point the mage couldn’t take it anymore and conjured a cloak of warmth around him to protect himself from the wind.

“Hothouse orchid…,” the elf scoffed.

“What was that?”

“It’s what your friend, Magister Tilani, called you.”

“She did what now?!”

An amused snort escaped Quiz, and he waved the question away. Dorian only huffed again in indignation.

“I never felt the need.”

The mage went still.

“I never…everyone was always talking about how they lusted after this girl or that boy, and how their skin would tingle and how they got aroused at the mere sight of this or that, and I never understood it. Oh, I know arousal, I do touch myself occasionally, but that’s also it. Apparently you’re supposed to touch yourself and think of a person or something sexual, well, I just want to relax for a moment, no strings attached!”

Quiz glared into the distance, arms clenched tightly around his legs.

“And Cullen-“

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“That’s what you’ve wanted to know for weeks now!”

“And today I learned that I shouldn’t have pushed you like I have. I thank you for telling me about yourself, but you don’t have to explain the Commander’s actions. Or non-actions. It is not my business.”

The elf let out an aggravated sigh and flopped on his back with his arms sprawled out over his head.

“Don’t be so understanding all of a sudden…”

“What can I say, I live to please.”

“Pff.”

“Is that disbelief I hear there, Inquisitor? When have you ever known me to be anything else than completely and genuinely earnest?”

“ _Do_ you actually want an answer to that?”

“Spare me.”

They looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. Some of Leliana’s ravens started cawing at the sudden loud noise.

“Thanks, Dorian.”

Dorian scoffed. “You’re not supposed to thank me, Quiz.”

“Well, I did punch you in the face. You could have simply sulked in your corner until I inevitably would have come to you.”

“I doubt that either Solas or Leliana would have let me.”

“Did Solas heal the bruise?”

“Only the fractured bones.”

“What?!?”

Quiz sounded a bit too delighted at that for Dorian’s taste, but he turned his head to present the bruise anyway.

“Oh Creators, Dorian…”

He sniffed. “You throw a mean punch for a scrawny little elf.”

Said scrawny little elf grinned at him and reached out to touch the bruise.

“OW, you insufferable-! Bruises are not meant to be touched! They hurt!”

“Sorry Dorian.”

“You are not sorry.”

“You’re right, I so am not.”

**DA:I**

The bruise took a long time to fade, since Dorian refused to let it be healed, and anyone who learned where he got it from tended to deliberately pat him on the cheek for whatever reason they could conjure up. Even Cassandra did it, after a sparring match when she had foregone the customary slap on the shoulder for his cheek. And she had not been gentle about it.

Cole actually did it too, though he had apparently been roped into a bet by Varric and Sera.

Cullen was the only one who hadn’t done it yet, and Dorian was highly suspicious of that. Considering it was his lover who had given the mage the bruise, and the reason why, the Commander should have been the first to give him a get-well-pat.

But he didn’t.

He contemplated that during an afternoon session of chess which he was losing horribly, despite his best attempts at cheating. What was worse was that Cullen himself seemed distracted, and was still beat him with ease.

“Does Tevinter actually believe that the Dalish think sex between men results in pregnancy?”

The knight Dorian had been holding fell from his hand, made lax from shock. He stared open-mouthed at the Commander who patiently looked back, clearly waiting for an answer. Only the small twitch of his lips near the scar betrayed his amusement.

“I’m simply curious, Dorian, how you would come up with such a ridiculous statement. You of all people should know that something like that isn’t possible.”

Dorian spluttered, his face heating up in the wake of Cullen’s ridicule of him.

“Why Commander,” he coughed, trying to get his bearings together, “I wouldn’t have assumed you of being capable of teasing.”

“Are you flustered?”

“Such nonsense, that falls from your lips. Of course I am not!” Yet he couldn’t will away the blush on his face. “If your intention was to distract me from our game, you have to do better.”

In hopes of dropping the topic the mage leaned forward, gaze fixed upon the board. Cullen did not say anything further either for the next few moments.

“I just hope that we cleared that up, Dorian. I would hate to see you confused and jumping to hasty conclusions.”

And Cullen brought one gloved hand up to Dorian’s bad cheek and patted him once, ignoring the flinch and then held his hand there. The mage slowly raised his eyes to see a deceptively innocent grin on Cullen’s face and a chill ran down his spine.

“I would hate that too, Commander.”

Cullen gave him a slight squeeze of his hand and went back to their game, looking entirely pleased with himself despite the slight blush on his face that Dorian wisely did not comment on.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit (23.04.17): I got an amazing comment, which got me into thinking again about my personal relationship with asexuality even though it confuses the fuck out of me.  
> So, this story is based on my big revelation I had back when I wrote it and that's how it is written: I have Solas explaining to Dorian that some people don't feel sexual desire. While that might be true, what I actually meant to convey is that some people don't feel sexual attraction, and that that's how Quiz feels. I don't want to change the fic though, since I like it the way it is now and the thought of Solas not knowing everything delights me. So, yeah, Quiz doesn't feel sexual attraction but still gets off when he wants to relax, that's the kind of person I picture him to be.  
> I hope this makes sense, since I don't have a clue about myself and just write down things how I wish they would be. Thanks for reading and listening!
> 
> Should anyone want to follow a blog that is very very irregularly online and posts mainly Dragon Age and Supernatural stuff, here's mine:  
> [legendofthedwelf](http://legendofthedwelf.tumblr.com)
> 
> And a rebloggable link: [A good punch can change your perspective](http://legendofthedwelf.tumblr.com/post/150165957294/a-good-punch-can-change-your-perspective)


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